The Chic Diet: The Dietary and Psychological Tactics of the Urban Elite

Everyone can spot a Chic Girl from a city block away. She oozes glamour from every pore as she struts around in her sample sized dress, traipsing around on her skinny little legs in her absurdly expensive heels. People stop to stare and wonder, "How does she do it?"

She will preach about balanced diets and red-faced workout sessions, but it's all a farce. Like, didn't you know about her real dietary tactics? Oh, you didn't? Well, aren't you in for a treat!

Be it a month-long juice cleanse, a steady diet of air, or eschewal of any foodstuff that isn't green or white, the chic girl knows how to keep her figure svelte and trim. And you know what else she's really, really good at? Being completely, utterly and hopelessly unhinged. Glamorous!

Just so you know, this book is totally and completely satirical. Like, I just want to make you laugh, or something. No one should take any of this to heart or use it as some sort of handbook for turning into a super psychotic sociopath. Unless, of course, that's who you're aspiring to become. So chic, I die.