The Secrets of All Secrets

Zane, a seminary and grad school dropout, obtains a USB drive left by a cloaked figure on a bridge in the middle of the night. Zane opens it, and a message offers him The Secrets of All Secrets. Such an offer is tantalizing, and Zane has nothing left to lose. The USB directs Zane to Florida where he encounters poor waitress Dali, who received an identical USB. Initially clashing, they band together, taking a chance that The Secrets are genuine as they receive more instructions from the USBs.

Four oddball government operatives, an extremely tall corporate executive with an extremely short, scholarly hit man in tow, and two crackbrained, fringe-element, anti-government separatists are after The Secrets, and are all willing to kill to get them. Zane, Dali, and their pursuers encounter an armadillo festival, visit a nudist resort, and hang out with a presumed dead 60s rocker. Pandemonium occurs at each venue, with Zane and Dali one step ahead of everyone until all parties convene for a climactic confrontation over The Secrets.

The Secrets of All Secrets is an uproarious jab at government, corporate, and fanatical entities and a wild, comedic ride that ridicules the lust for supremacy.