I, Phone: Tales of My Life in Your Greasy Hands: A Rectangle’s Rise, Fall, and Slightly Vengeful Comeback (Book 1)

Once upon a time, a phone was loved. Admired. Carried everywhere.

Then… someone put him in a unicorn case.

Meet one smartphone who’s had enough. Dragged into bathrooms, dropped on sidewalks, stuffed in purses with loose bananas, and forced to witness late-night Google searches like “Do penguins have knees?” (Yes, they do. Stop asking.)

From the dizzying highs of being adored like royalty to the sticky lows of toothpaste splatter and gym sweat, this is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud memoir of a rectangle that just wants a little respect… and maybe revenge.

Part confession. Part revenge. 100% hilarious. Perfect for fans of absurd comedy, modern life satire, and anyone who’s ever screamed “WHY WON’T YOU CHARGE?!” at 1% or dropped their phone in a toilet (you know who you are).

After reading, you may never look at your phone the same way again.

Tap “Buy Now” and join the rebellion—before your own phone gets ideas