Castles, Crime & Cake: A Policeman's Accidental Guide to History

From Police Officer to Medieval Castle Guide… via Britain’s Most Curious Crimes

It started with cake—as most good stories do. Then came the discovery that it’s illegal to chat to the postman for too long, and a spark was ignited.

What followed was a mad quest to break Britain’s strangest laws, spiralling out of control until I hit rock telling the woman from British Gas I got my energy from bananas.

Dejected, I wandered into a castle, was offered a job, and soon found myself learning that the ideal position in the Middle Ages involved doing a jump, a fart, and a whistle every Christmas. Then, amongst other things, came a monkey ghost, two-fingered gestures, and a knight to remember.

Eventually, I was leading unsuspecting visitors on my own irreverent guided tour of a magnificent medieval castle… and now you can come too!

The past was never this much fun—or this illegal.

This is the Author's Cut edition with 3 Bonus Chapters