Attempted Vampirism (The Attempted Vampirism, #1)

It’s not easy being a vampire – just ask Jonathan.

As the 32nd Lord of Bloodhaven, Jonathan is a vampire noble. Alas, he’s a noble in name only. Forget gold, diamonds, and bountiful estates. All he has to his name are one cosy – some would say dilapidated – castle and a reputation as a fine scholar specialising in ancient lore. Of course, given the horrible ends both his father and grandfather met in pursuit of fame and fortune, it’s probably for the best that he enjoys the quiet life.

Sadly, his quiet life is about to meet a horrible end of its own.

Think tax collectors are bad? How about… vampire tax collectors?

After a run in with the Blood Alliance Department of Taxation leaves Jonathan with nothing except a dressing gown and a pair of bunny slippers, he has no choice but to leave his quiet life behind. He needs a lot of money, and he needs it now. But at least he can rely on his faithful servants for help, right? Wrong. The only servant he’s got left is his old but faithful butler, Miles.

To get his castle and his stuff back, Jonathan and Miles have to take some risks, but the gods aren’t going to make it easy for them. After all, these are the same gods who took at least three tries to get the world mostly right, and they have some wonderful surprises up their sleeve.

If Jonathan can survive werewolves, bandits, and eldritch monstrosities, he might just stand a chance. Sure, he’s more familiar with a book than a sword, but he’ll make it work. Somehow. Maybe. Probably not.

It’s not easy being a vampire, but Jonathan is going to give it his best shot.