But Where Are You Really From?: Foreign there, Foreign here: From Kosovo to Denmark

“But Where Are You Really From?”

A question many people hear when their appearance, name, or heritage does not fit the idea of what it means to be “local.” A question often asked in passing, yet layered with meaning.

In this memoir, Lena Rexhepi traces her journey from Kosovo to Denmark. From a childhood shaped by war, displacement, and refugee camps to building a life marked by education, ambition, and independence. Arriving in Denmark as a child refugee, she grows up between languages, cultures, and expectations, determined to create opportunities beyond the circumstances she inherited.

Along the way, she encounters prejudice, discrimination, and the subtle barriers that often accompany life as an immigrant and a woman. From Denmark to experiences in London, New York, and beyond, she navigates the challenges of belonging while balancing society’s expectations, professional success, and the search for a place to call home.

But where is home when you're told to go back home?

Through deeply personal experiences, observations, and reflections, Lena explores what it means to feel foreign in the country she comes from and foreign in the country she now calls home.

To belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

To carry one home in memory and another in daily life.

This is a story about survival, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of a dignified life. It explores what war does to people long after the fighting ends and what it means to rebuild a future while history is carried in the body and the language lingers on the tongue.

Written with vulnerability, But Where Are You Really From? invites readers to see migration, discrimination, identity, and belonging not as abstract concepts, but as lived realities shaped by loss, adaptation, hope, and the quiet determination to claim one's place in the world.